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Paul B.'s avatar

What do you think about short-term recreational drugs that impact serotonin (e.g., MDMA, psychedelics)? These and particularly MDMA do not blunt emotion. Would you have to just say that serotonin has many roles and these modulate some other role?

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Jenny F.'s avatar

I was diagnosed with OCD at 17, lost that diagnosis, got diagnosed with GAD and depression in college, lost those diagnoses, was diagnosed with adjustment disorder….and so on. Lost all diagnoses later in adulthood. I’m just a normie now and happy that way. Freud would have called me a teenage hysteric.

I notice how much emphasis there is in this piece on “feelings.” I find this deeply bizarre. For me, whatever-I-was-dealing-with was ALWAYS physiological and embodied. I fell asleep at odd hours, lay awake at 3am. My heart beat out of my chest. I experienced rolling waves of hot and cold flashes. I physically shook. I tingled all over. I fainted in college several times, and woke up extraordinarily embarrassed (I was also very shy and tried to avoid public spaces where possible). I was entirely preoccupied with preventing and then coping with these enormous sensations. The one thing that ultimately helped was going to a somatic experiencing therapist who helped my body literally, simply, find a state of calm. Once I had experienced calm- for the first time in a good 15 years - I was able to return to that state, again and again.

Physiologic embodied states are not rightly named emotions, feelings, or behaviors - are they? Do you actually mean to refer to, e.g. “hot and cold flashes” when you write out the word “feeling”? They are the root cause *of* bizarre behaviors (adaptations to deal with the internal states) - as we know from autistic people, who have shared extensively about the ways in which stimming functions as a coping or adaptive mechanism. I did a whole lot of bizarre stuff, including screaming out loud on escalators and engaging in OCD-like rituals, entirely as way to try and *make the physical pain stop.* I wasn’t able to stop the bizarre behaviors until the physiologic symptoms went away.

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